Reality Transurfing: Frailing

Frailing. When I was reading Reality Transurfing by Vadim Zeland this word kept popping up. I thought maybe it was some weird mistranslation of some Russian phrase. After all, we all know what frail means in English.

I actually re-read that section of the book several times.

Turns out “frailing” is a simple concept. The words in the English text are derived from several Russian words - basically “frail” is who a person is and “frailing” is how you deal with a person. No resemblance to the English word so blank that out immediately!

You walk into a conversation already trying to get something: could be a “yes”, could be a phone call, an explanation - anything really.

You perform and your push for what you want out of that interaction.

That push is what Zeland calls “inner intention” aimed at another person.

And it’s really not a great way to get what you want out of that interaction. Turns out most people are busy trying to get what they want out of that same interaction. Another demand just doesn’t land like you want.

How do you get what you want when dealing with other people? Zeland calls this “frailing.” Drop the intention to receive. Put your attention on the other person and their worth and what they want.

Whatever you were chasing shows up after you quit chasing it.

Find out what they care about and stay with that. Treat the thing(s) they want as gold.

And no, this is not manipulation. You are getting out of the way and letting what Zeland calls “outer intention” to do its work.

If you read about the 7 rules you will read about the mirror, image and reflection.

Don’t wrestle with the reflection. You are changing the image - you are changing what you are putting in front of people. You are showing regard and not demand.

Try it once this week where you usually push. Call whatever comes back a win. Remember, Reality Transurfing teaches us to call everything a win.

And it works.

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